There are lots of good reasons to blow your stack; silly errors...misunderstandings...crossed
signals...plain stupidity (on the part of others, of course).
But there are even better reasons to keep your anger under control. For one thing, when you are angry, you are apt to say or do things you later regret . . . you are more likely to have an accident...you may even come down with a raging headache. Continued anger can take a heavy toll on mind and body.
Why, then, do we keep on losing our cool? Probably because it's natural, instinctive, and briefly satisfying. And because we haven't stopped to consider how harmful it can be.
Yet, that's exactly what successful managers must do. They can't afford the luxury of a temper that makes them say and do foolish things and sour their relationships with their people.
The most important time to hold your temper is when the other person has lost his. When someone else starts to grow angry, never respond in kind, no matter what the temptation. To be sure, this will sometimes require a Herculean effort on your part, but the payoff is worth the effort; nothing to regret, nothing to apologize for, no strained relations to mend, and the respect of your people.
Don't Chase Your Best People Away
People change their jobs for any number of reasons—more opportunity for advancement, a fatter paycheck, and an easier commute. But people who are reasonably content with their work and their bosses seldom go out looking for other jobs.
Some bosses have a higher turnover among their people than others, sometimes embarrassingly so. And often it's the better people who leave. This can be a costly and frustrating problem.
Sometimes, people are offered opportunities or salaries that are so extraordinary that you cannot possibly match them. All you can do in such cases is let them go and wish them good luck. But don't be too sure. Before you let yourself off the hook, ask yourself a few questions:
- Did I let these people know how important they were to me and to the company? Or did I more or less take them for granted?
- Did I give them a chance to be proud of themselves? Did I pass along all the
authority I possibly could— or keep them tied to my apron strings?
- Did I give them the credit and recognition they deserved from me and others in the company? Or did I tend to leave them in the shadows?
- Was the job a real challenge? Did I do my best to make it so?
- Did I make their work as varied and interesting as possible? Did I show them the possibilities of a promising future? Or did I simply leave them in a rut and exploit their abilities to my own advantage?
Don't be too quick to absolve yourself of all blame. If you were responsible, to any degree, it's smarter to realize it than to hide your head in the sand. Unless you change your attitude or actions, you may lose more than just good people. You may be on the verge of damaging your own company or career as well.
Obviously, the best time to think of these things is before you lose good people rather than after.
Common Delegation Pitfalls
Delegation is a true test of a manager's skill. When he delegates to his subordinates he must bring into play everything he knows about organizing work and dealing with people. But because it is so crucial a skill, its successful exercise is fraught with dangers. Check your own delegation practices for these common mistakes:
- Failure to delegate enough. Despite the earnest resolve to do more delegating, a manager often finds it difficult to give an employee a job that he thinks he can do better. When he feels the hot breath of a deadline on his neck, he is apt to do the job himself because "I'll know it's getting done right." To combat this error, ask yourself these questions about the jobs you aren't delegating: "Why am I doing this myself?" "Couldn't my time be used more profitably doing something else?" "Isn't anyone else capable of handling this?"
- Delegating by formula. There are no standard rules for delegating. Each act of delegation is different because the assignment is different, the employee is different, circumstances are different. A manager must know his people and adjust his approach accordingly. For example, one employee may be insulted by too close checks on his progress; another may welcome them. Suit your control to the individual.
- Failure to keep communication lines open. Delegation can only flourish in a climate that encourages communication between the boss and his people. Delegation is doomed when an employee is so fearful of reprisal or failure that he is reluctant to come back to his manager and say "I need your help." If an employee feels the need to protect himself, he'll cover up—and you may miss a key piece of information vital to the success of the assignment.
- Being too narrow in your delegation. Delegation is a form of training. So don't restrict yourself to delegating the kinds of things employees know how to do best. Try them out on tasks for which you suspect they may have some aptitude but have had no opportunity to exercise. You may strike gold.
Put Your Worries To Work
Worry is a great common denominator. Kings worry. Paupers worry. Children worry. And so do you and I.
Little wonder, when you consider that worry is a mental state of anxiety based on insecurity, a sense of inadequacy—real or imagined—or a fear of failure in coping with impending events. As long as there is uncertainty in the world, we'll worry.
The trick in dealing with worry is to use the energy it generates constructively. Hand wringing won't accomplish anything. Some soul searching may.
The first step is to determine what, exactly, you are worried about.
Yourself. Are you concerned about your health, your job performance, your attitudes? Are you anxious about a promotion, your status, your future?
Others. Are you worried about your spouse, children or other relatives? Are you concerned about associates? Superiors? Do you wonder if you are as capable as they?
Things. Have a financial problem? Worried about paying for a home, a car, a country place, membership in clubs, the kids' education? Try to list all the possible causes of your worries first.
Next, state your problem in writing. Seeing your worry written out externalizes what you have been agonizing over. This will often show you how relatively minor, farfetched or foolish your worry is.
Taking advantage of some good friends whose counsel and advice you respect is another way of externalizing your worry, for a worry is often reduced to manageable dimensions when it is freely discussed. Most important, express your worry in easy to understand language. Failure to identify a problem is a direct cause of many of our worries.
But recognition of a worry isn't enough. You need a plan of action to make your worry pay off.
First, write out the possible avenues of approach for solving your problem (e.g., hiring a financial consultant, outsourcing a project, talking things over with colleagues). Then analyze all possible alternatives to determine which one is best to follow.
Now identify the knowledge, skills and attitudes you need to carry out your plan. Finally, prepare in a logical arrangement the steps you must follow to meet your objective.
Put your plan into action with confidence. Believe that it will be successful and try to obtain support from as many sources as possible.
Don't let initial setbacks throw you. If necessary, modify your plan. Remember that when you abandon your action plan and resort to worry again, your chances of succeeding are reduced. So permit no exceptions to occur in your determination to make worry productive.
Don't postpone putting your plan into action. Alibis are only symptoms of a fear of failure. Once you've developed a plan of action, implement it.
Worry is mental habit that did not become a part of your personality overnight. It probably developed slowly as the result of a series of ineffective attempts to solve problems. Habits are automatic responses to events.
It is this fixed behavior pattern, built into our personalities, that must be changed if worry is to be harnessed. Mental habits are not easily changed, but strong motivation and a logical approach, adhered to over a period of time, can result in success, they become reinforced and, ultimately, part and parcel of our personalities.
